Brahm and I take walks in the morning when I'm home and off a tour schedule. I was remarking a couple days ago at how easy it felt to hike through the Silver Lake hills. Only a year ago, it was still really difficult. I had to time the walks just right after eating, or make sure the walk wasn't too long or hot, or it would shut me down. TO WALK. I don't think that (even) my immediate circle even really understands how taxing daily tasks were that recently.

Brahm asked for an example of when I last remembered not being tired, before now, and I said I could literally not remember a time in my life that I wasn't tired all the time. I know that kids are tired, stay up too late etc. but I really can't remember a time that I wasn't exhausted during first and second period, needed a nap after lunch (especially after lunch! #lunchables), being exhausted at the end of a school day, struggling through practice or rehearsal, sleeping half the day away on the weekends. I'm learning now that is not normal; common, yes, but not a sign of a healthy body, especially a young, strong one. (Side note: food is supposed to energize the body not put us to sleep!)

Exercising a year ago was virtually impossible and it's been three years since I've prioritized fitness. I've only this past year started doing walks more regularly and making it to yoga. Very recently I've started adding in what I like to call "micro workouts" I can't always rally myself mentally to attend a class but I want to get stronger now that I'm feeling up to it. When I'm home (or at sound check, or getting gas for the vans) I'll do body weight exercises like walking lunges or squats or jumping jacks. It may seem like too little to make a difference but you'd be surprised! Two months ago I could do one military push-up (arms beside your body, not out like a "T"), now I can do 10. I've been focusing on core strength. Two months ago I could hold plank for 60 seconds, now I can to ab roll-outs. At home, with access to weights, I'll do walking lunges with a kettle bell or use our pull-up bar while i'm just watching TV or hanging out. Throughout the day, it adds up.

I've followed the advice of other Autoimmune wellness experts and taken things as I can handle them. I'm slowly getting stronger and am able to do more than I was before. I now feel like I'm operating in a 3 steps forward (rather than 2) - one step back, motion. This past month I was home a lot and definitely pushed my abilities to the limits in terms of socializing, alcohol, sleep and food, but I'm OK. I use tour to really cut back (livin' on a budget) and nourish myself, focus on sleep and what my body really needs. At home I try to do that but the temptation of seeing friends and having access to tastier food than what I travel with is challenging to resist.

I'm grateful to have my fatigue level as poignant point of reference. A lot of the other health progress I've had has been slow and almost imperceptible at times in improvement. My fatigue level has been a strong indication of my wellness level. Even though its terrible to be tired, I'm grateful that I'm sensitive enough to have symptoms indicate to me when something is off.

SIDE NOTE: my skin has (finally) improved dramatically. Here are some pics to compare to when I was doing the AIP diet.

Guest Post by Becca Murray of Becca Brain

The Impetus

In September 2014, Beebe was helping me unpack my new apartment. Upon opening my bathroom box and seeing my Dove Clinical Strength deodorant, she flipped her shit. "OMIGOD YOU USE THIS?" She proceeded to give me a lecture about how I’m so crazy about what goes in my body, how can I be so flippant about what goes on my body, etc. I’m not a smelly person, but I’m a sweaty person. As a performer, this can be an issue. Hot lights, a little bit of nerves, sweaty pits. Not a good look. But I decided to give it a go.

Nope Nope Nope

For Christmas that year, Beebe got me a tub of Fat and the Moon deodorant cream, a highly recommended natural brand. I began using it and immediately broke out in a rash under my arms. I’ve never been one to have sensitive skin, so I freaked out but tried to push through it. About a month later, I quit and regifted the present back to Beebe. (She loved it & still uses it to this day, so it was definitely a me issue, not a product issue. Much love to Fat and the Moon!) Over the past year-ish, I’ve tried several brands and even tried making my own. Every single one of them has made me rash out. It looks like acne and it hurts like a bitch and after a month of pain, I always go back to my old (cancerous) standby. This year, I decided that I needed to figure out the problem and go natural no matter what. I read this post that suggested an armpit detox. Seriously, it’s a thing. A friend had just given me a Dead Sea mud mask from his trip to Jordan, so I decided to give it a go. I only put on my deodorant – Lavanilla, at this point – a couple times a week, always at night. I’d have flare-ups, but kept using it to see if my reaction was lessening with the detoxing. It wasn’t. I did notice that the bumps would reduce after the mask, but I’d break out as soon as I started sweating or applied deodorant again. UGH. I also read that magnesium can reduce your need for deodorant. I already take magnesium before bed to help me relax, but I began using a magnesium spray (that I already had on hand for muscle/joint pain) under my arms every day. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t really seem to help, either.

FINALLY

Last month, after regaling Beebe with my whole saga (which I’d somehow kept all to myself this whole time), she gave me the remains of her Stank Stop. She had switched over to Fat and the Moon – better consistency, for her skin – and had most of a tub sitting unused in her medicine cabinet. She is a HUGE fan of Fat Face Skincare and suggested that I add this to the list of products I’ve tried before throwing in the towel completely. I used it with zero expectation. THE NEXT DAY, MY RASH WAS GONE. I’m not even kidding. She gave it to me on a Wednesday night, I used it on a Thursday morning and on Thursday night, I realized that the rash had disappeared. I’ve now been using it for about a month. My rash has not resurfaced AND I haven't sweat through a single shirt. (It’s warm in LA, you guys.) In the words of buddy the elf "I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!"

Check out Becca's Site Here! She's an amazing photographer and artist as well as a brilliant performer and Jill of all trades.

Editor's Note: I DO LOVE Fat Face! Not only was it created by and is owned and run by a woman (mega bonus!), but their "intro" on the blog SOLD me from day one. (Hint: it has to do with DIET affecting your skin.) See for yourself. It's an amazing (and growing!) company.

I have their cleanser, healing and anti-aging face oil, moisturizing cream, fat stick and toner.

Also, I'm trying not to lecture people anymore (see post one), especially Becca.